The night air was frosty, but Vin and Ezra felt warm around their small fire. The meal hadn’t exactly filled them, but it had been enough to stave off the major hunger pangs.

Vin shifted awkwardly. The annoying throb of his foot had become hard to ignore and he was finding it difficult to find a comfortable position for it.

“Are you sure you don’t want some whisky? I have some,” Ezra offered for the tenth time.

Vin shook his head as he lifted his leg and deposited it on a rolled blanket. “Out on the trail it pays to have a clear head.”

“I will keep watch.”

Vin smiled his appreciation. “Yeah, I know, but I’d prefer to leave it for now. If the pain gets worse, I’ll have to take it.”

Ezra took out a pack of cards and began to shuffle them absentmindedly. “Do we know to what the Judge’s documents pertain?”

“Huh?”

“What are they about?” Ezra clarified.

Vin shrugged. “Something to do with some case the Judge has to deal with when he gets here.”

“How are you feeling?”

Vin nodded. The half-hour sleep he had stolen while the meal was heating had rejuvenated him.

“Then, may I entice you to join me in a game of poker?”

Vin shook his head. “Sorry, Ezra. You cleaned me out yesterday, remember?”

“So I did,” the gambler said, remembering the game with satisfaction. “We could play for your next pay.”

“Yeah, and I can starve next week.”

“Alright, then we shall play for pebbles,” Ezra stated, collecting some from the ground and handing them to his companion. Three months ago, if anyone had told Ezra he would be happy to play for ‘pebbles’ while sitting on the hard ground out in the middle of nowhere with only a campfire for warmth, he would have questioned their sanity, but the bottom line was, Ezra was happy. He had learned to enjoy the simple pleasures... like playing cards with a friend.

For almost an hour the pair played, Ezra doing most of the talking and winning. Tanner listened, fatigue gradually drawing him until he found himself staring at a decent hand. Unfortunately, Vin had only one large pebble left. “Mr. Tanner?”

“Yeah, hang on, I’m thinkin’.” Vin bit down on his bottom lip as he carefully considered his options.

Ezra waited. “Mr, Tanner?”

“I bet three,” Vin stated, placing his pebble into the pot.

Ezra eyed the pebble and looked up at his opponent perplexed. “That is one.”

“You kiddin‘? Look at the size of that sucker. It’s as big as three,” Vin argued, passionately.

Ezra shook his head. “It does not work that way. Each pebble is worth one.”

“Why? Look at the size of those little things you’ve been bettin‘,” Vin objected. “I didn’t complain about that. Hell, if I were to spit I’d miss ‘em. “

“Please don’t do me any favours. However, that does not change the fact that one pebble is the same as any other,” Ezra repeated.

“Bullshit.” Vin put his cards down, picked up the large pebble he had placed in the pot and held it up with several others. “It’s as big as three.”

“Yes, but... oh, go ahead,” Standish murmured.

Vin smiled and picked up his cards like a child who had won an argument he knew he should have lost.

“Well?” Ezra prompted. “I have two pair.”

“Full house!” Vin announced with triumph, displaying the cards and raking in the pot. “Well, if it isn’t about time.”

“Not so fast, my friend.”

“What?”

Ezra flashed Vin a smile of devilish elation. “Perhaps I should point out that my two pair is two pairs of kings.”

Vin cursed. “Great.”

“Another hand?”

“No. I’m out of pebbles.” The two men stared at each other and smiled easily at the absurdity of the statement.

“I can think of worse predicaments.”

“Yeah.” Vin yawned. “I’m gonna bed down. Do you mind taking first watch?” Tanner paused. He had never asked anyone to take first watch. He always took first watch and usually stayed up all night. Again, Vin found himself reviewing the beliefs on which his life was based.

Ezra could see the inner turmoil reflected on his young companion’s fatigued face. “You need have no fear, my friend. I will not let you down.“

“I know. I just... Thanks.”

“I shall wake you in a few hours.” A few dozen hours, Ezra thought with determination. A good night’s sleep was exactly what Vin needed.

Tanner laid back on his bedroll, his head resting against his saddle.

“Are you warm enough? That is one of the things I do remember from Mr. Jackson’s sermon. I’m supposed to ensure you keep warm.”

“Buckskin coat keeps the wind out. I’m fine.”

“And your side?”

“Fine.”

“And your foot?”

“Night, Ezra.”

**********

Ezra sat memorized by the dancing flames of the fire. Like Vin, the gambler had been marvelling at the turn his life had taken since becoming a regulator in Four Corners. Never in his wildest dreams did he anticipate spending time protecting others for a paltry dollar a day with room and board. Whatever was keeping him in Four Corners, it certainly wasn’t the riches, he decided with amusement.

Vin shifted uneasily and groaned. Ezra watched his friend with a healthy amount of apprehension. Tanner had been restless all night. When the sleeping man moved again, he gasped, awoke with a start and sat up groggily. He scanned the area around him, nodded to Ezra and then leaned over his foot.

“How is it?”

“Twice as big as it was yesterday,” Vin grumbled. “Must be my turn to take watch.”

“No, not yet,” Ezra stated, opening his pocket watch convincingly. “Go back to sleep. I shall wake you the moment my time has concluded.”

Vin’s face flickered with thought and then a grin crept onto his lips. “Like hell you will. You get some rest. Don’t reckon I’ll be able to go back to sleep anyway.”

“Without the risk of repeating myself, I do have some whisky on my person. It will help ease your discomfort.”

“Yeah, it would, but I may need it tomorrow.” Regardless of whether Peso was lame or not, Vin’s foot would be jostled around and a swig of whisky may help to take the edge off the pain.

“Very well. However, I insist you return to your slumber. As I have explained to you, I value my life and would prefer to return you to Four Corners in good health... even if you have a damaged foot.” Vin frowned, argument on lips. Ezra’s voice became earnest. “You are a long way from being fully recovered, my friend and I believe, while we are both at odds to admit it, Mr. Jackson’s diagnosis was accurate. This trip was not a good idea and was certainly premature. If you do not get the rest your body is insisting it needs, you will find the ride tomorrow difficult and I do not think either of us would survive the reception we will receive in Four Corners if I am forced to take you back there on a travois.”

Vin stared at Ezra for several seconds, shrugged and laid back. His failure to argue surprised his companion, but it confirmed Ezra’s suspicion. Vin was struggling.

******

An hour later, Ezra’s stomach was protesting at being empty and the evening chill was beginning to enter his bones. He stood and added another couple of logs to the fire and then walked across to check his companion. Tanner appeared to have relaxed for the first time, though even in the limited light of the fire, Ezra could see that Vin looked pale. This was what Nathan had been talking about, he realized. Jackson had tried to explain to Vin that he didn’t have the energy reserves to draw on yet. He had lost a lot of blood and that was the reason he tired quickly. It was going to be a long trip home.

Ezra glanced over at his own blanket and considered transferring it to Vin, but he dismissed the well-meaning thought. He knew if he allowed himself to get cold he may become ill and he simply couldn’t afford that. Tanner would depend on him tomorrow. The pig-headed tracker wouldn’t want to, but with an injured foot and his obvious fatigue, he would have no choice. Ezra reappraised the sleeping man and decided the tracker’s coat was like a second blanket anyway.

“I must secure one of those obnoxious buckskin coats for myself if I am to continue these exciting jaunts into the wilds,” Ezra muttered, returning to his flimsy blanket. As he sat down, he felt a sharp jab in his calf. Ezra leapt up with a cry, his revolver snapping into his fist.

“What?” Vin asked. The tracker’s mare’s leg was in his hand and he was on his feet.

“Something bit me.”

“Huh?”

Ezra poked his blanket with his foot and then stepped back waiting for the hidden danger to appear.

Vin limped across to his companion. “What the hell are you talking about? What sort of bite? An ant?”

“No!” Ezra cried, crouching and beginning to search the blanket. “Something sank its teeth into me!”

Vin’s face changed. “Sit down.”

Ezra glanced up at Tanner’s intense expression. “Vin?”

“Sit,” Vin repeated, shoving Ezra to the ground.

Ezra gaped at his companion wide-eyed.

Vin crouched in front of the gambler and demanded, “Where?”

Ezra started to roll up the bottom of his trousers, but Tanner batted his hands to one side and roughly dragged the material out of the way. Vin’s eyes narrowed. Even in the flickering light of the campfire, he could see the two puncture wounds. Ezra too saw them. “A spider?” Standish asked.

Vin shook his head. “Too big.”

Ezra swallowed. That only left... Vin rose to his feet, his experienced eyes darting around the area. “You didn’t see anything?” he checked.

“No. I simply felt the bite.”

Vin dropped beside Ezra and withdrew his hunting knife from his belt. “I need to bleed it. See if I can stop the poison.” Vin’s mind was racing. What sort of snake would be in this area at this time of the year? Most would be hibernating. Ezra must have disturbed the reptile earlier and it had come into the camp, attracted by the warmth of the fire.

Ezra swallowed. “So it was a snake?”

Vin didn’t answer, instead turning to the fire and thrusting the end of his knife into it. He needed to sterilize the blade. “Take your jacket off.” Ezra did so without argument. “Move closer to the fire and hold this.” Ezra took the knife from Vin, the heat scorching his skin. Without warning, Tanner reached up, grabbed a hold of the gambler’s silk sleeve and ripped it from the garment.

“Mr. Tanner! This shirt came all the way from France!”

Vin grabbed the knife and then turned back to Standish. “I need to cut the wound and draw as much of the poison out as possible. Pass me your flask.”

Ezra reached into his saddlebags and withdrew a large silver flask. Vin doused the wound and then handed the flask back. For a few seconds he looked at his startled friend. Ezra licked his lips, steeled himself and nodded.

Vin lowered the knife and with two quick flicks, opened the skin.

Ezra flinched but kept his jaw pressed together so that no sound could escape his paled lips. Vin bent over and sucked blood from Ezra’s leg, turned and spat it out before repeating the action a half a dozen times. “You still with me?” Tanner asked.

Ezra nodded. He had no idea what his friend was doing, but he sensed the urgency. Ezra trusted Vin. He trusted him completely and that was incredible, for three months earlier, Ezra had trusted no one... not even his own mother.

“The sleeve.” Ezra handed it his companion and watched dazed as Vin wrapped it tightly around the wound.

Once finished, Vin turned to Ezra and examined his eyes. They were slightly dilated, though that could be a result ofthe extra adrenaline flooding Ezra’s system. Finally, Vin rocked back on his haunches, his brow furrowed with a mixture of thought and obvious concern.

“Vin?”

Tanner drew in a deep breath. “There are only three types of snakes in these parts and they’re all poisonous.”

“That statement was not as positive as I had hoped,” Ezra offered, trying to make light of the situation.

“One makes you real sick, but if you’re young and strong, a man usually gets through it.”

“And the other two?”

Vin held Ezra’s gaze without flinching. The answer required no further explanation.

Standish licked his lips again. “Are you able to ascertain which of the three vipers may have bitten me?”

Vin rose to his feet and limped around the campfire. “Vin?” Tanner didn’t reply. “Vin, I demand you tell me!”

Tanner turned, his blue eyes rimmed with anguish. “It was a big snake. Long fangs. Has to be a Western diamondback. “ Vin lowered his head.

Ezra sat frozen. It took several seconds for him to realize what Vin had said. Pulling himself together he asked, “And the bite is always fatal?”

Tanner didn’t look up, but he nodded.

“I see.” Ezra felt like he’d been kicked in the chest. His emotions exploded. Everything from fear to anger attacked him from within. What did it all mean? A fatal bite. He was going to die? He was going to die!

Vin looked up slowly, unable to find words. For several seconds there was silence.

“And how long?” Ezra asked, his voice breaking at the end.

“A couple of hours. Ezra... I...”

Standish turned away, his face portraying his devastation. He was going to die. Just like that. How could this happen to him? He wasn’t prepared. He had his entire life before him. For the first time in his life, he had been feeling in control. How could this happen?!

Vin reappeared beside him and covered the gambler’s legs with both men’s blankets “You should lay back,” the woodsman whispered.

“What difference will it make!” Ezra snapped.

Vin shrugged.

A couple of hours! He had only a couple of hours to live! Just as Ezra was about to cut loose and let Vin Tanner know exactly what he thought, he caught sight of his friend’s face. Standish wanted to be angry and Vin was the only person around he could take out his shock on, but as Ezra stared into the uncharacteristically expressive blue pools staring back at him, his thoughts moved from himself to his companion. Ezra reached out his hand and placed it on Vin’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. Forgive my outburst. You are the one who should be resting.”

“I’m fine. You lay back now.” A short argument ensued, but in the end, Ezra lay back against his saddle. The two men found themselves staring at each other at a loss.

“Is this one of those venoms that causes the victim to hallucinate and salivate?”

Vin shook his head.

“Tell me what to expect,” Ezra requested, quietly.

“Ezra...”

“Please.” Ezra smiled stupidly. “You know I don’t like surprises.”

“You’ll get warm and then numbness. Slurred speech. Vision starts to go. Then...”

“Like going to sleep one last time,” Ezra reflected, wistfully. “I don’t suppose a man could ask for a better exit from this mortal existence.”

“Hell, Ezra,” Vin mumbled. He was at a loss. If his friend had been bawling and shouting, Vin could have dealt with that, but this!

“I am surprised by my own reaction. I feel calm. Does that surprise you?”

Vin couldn’t respond. He was searching for some way to prevent the inevitable. They were too far from Four Corners and Wentworth Falls had no doctor. Even if Nathan were here, Vin knew there wouldn’t be anything he could do. The Western diamondback’s venom could not be treated.

“Vin, sit down. Your foot must be aching.”

“It’s fine. Forget about that. Can I... can I get you anything?”

Ezra considered the question. “My cards, please.” Vin limped across to the Ezra’s saddlebags, which were just behind his saddle and began ferreting through them.

Standish drew in a deep breath and while his friend’s head was turned, he grabbed his flask and drained the entire contents without coming up for a breath.

“You sure they’re in here?” Vin asked.

“Yes, I placed them there last night.”

Ezra’s hand snaked under his saddle and withdrew two more silver thermoses. Quickly, he drained a second before stuffing the two empty ones under his saddle.

“Oh, here they are,” Standish called.

Vin returned to his friend’s side. Ezra undid the top on his third flask and took a long swig. “Mr. Tanner?”

Vin shook his head. “Please, join me,” Ezra encouraged. Already the anaesthetizing drink was calming him. Tanner took the flask and tipped it to his lips, briefly. “Come on, Vin. You can do better than that.”

“No, you have it.” Vin’s voice was deathly quiet.

Ezra sighed as he accepted the flask back. “This was a gift from my mother. A birthday present I believe.”

Vin swallowed. What was he supposed to say? For several minutes the pair sat in silence. “You will send word to my mother?” Ezra asked out of the blue.

“Yeah.”

“She will make whatever arrangements need to be made. She is a strong woman, my mother.”

“Yeah, she is.”

Ezra frowned. “A strong woman,” he muttered. “Do you know how many times I have cursed her for that?”

Vin directed his attention into the fire. He was seated next to Ezra, but was finding it difficult to maintain his friend’s haunting gaze.

“She was never a normal mother. How I wanted her to be.”

Vin swallowed. “It isn’t easy for a woman on her own.”

“I was the last of her concerns,” Ezra reflected, quietly. “She always had more important places to be and more important people to be with.”

“You’ve been in Four Corners only three months and she’s made the stage trip twice. Don’t reckon there are many mothers who would.”

Ezra turned to Vin. “Do not get me wrong, Vin. I love my mother, but I am not blinded to her failings. She did not raise me well.”

“You’re a good man, Ezra. Someone must have taught you to be.”

Standish frowned. “I... I suppose so. I wish I could tell her that I...”

Vin waited. Ezra had lowered his head in an attempt to come to terms with his regrets. “Ain’t nothing a son has to tell his ma that she don’t already know in her heart.”

Ezra’s face blanketed with emotion. “Do you really believe that?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You are a complex man, Mr. Tanner. Far more complex than I first gave you credit for.” Another lengthy silence blanketed the small clearing.

“I... I would like to ask you something.”

Vin returned his focus to the fire. “Yeah?”

“Are you afraid of dying?”

Vin swallowed hard. This was the most difficult thing he’d ever had to do in his life. Fighting odds of 100 to 1 was a pushover compared to sitting beside a friend and listening to his dying words. Ezra blinked several times and unconsciously pushed the blankets off his legs. He was starting to feel warm.

Vin cursed under his breath. He had been clinging to the slim hope that he was mistaken, but clearly it was a Diamondback bite. The poison was beginning to take effect. “I’m not afraid of dying, but of how I’m gonna die,” Vin explained, honestly. “I reckon there’s a pretty good chance I’ll swing at some time.”

“Not while you have us to mind your back,” Ezra corrected. Us. Now, that ‘us’ didn’t include him he realized. “I have never really considered how I would die. I suppose it isn’t something one contemplates. If asked, I would have thought my end would come at the card table. A bullet from a hidden gun.”

“Not while you have us to mind your back,” Vin returned.

Ezra shook his head with false amusement. “And then something totally unexpected happens and...” Perhaps it was combination of nervous tension and his need to come to terms with his own life, but over the next hour, Ezra spoke non-stop. During that period of time, his voice started to slur.

Vin found himself sliding into a pit of helplessness. He felt so frustrated by his inability to help his friend. He had known Ezra for only three months and yet, of all of the people he'd known in his life, this man was one of only six Vin was truly prepared to trust.

Ezra’s eyes grew distant. “I am starting to feel numb. I don’t believe I can feel my legs anymore.”

Vin glanced over at his friend‘s troubled face. He searched for something to say, but his mind churned in a vacuum.

“I’ve always had two secret fears,” Ezra whispered in an emotional voice.

“Ezra...” Vin didn’t want to hear this.

“My first fear is one that has been the driving force in my life. I have always dreaded failure. Winning made me a success. Being better than someone else made me a success. My mother instilled into me that if a man is a failure, he is nothing.”

“You aren’t a failure, Ezra.”

“My goal was always to own an up-market gambling establishment... or perhaps, that was my mother’s goal for me. At some stage the two became one. I never felt a true success because I hadn‘t achieved that goal. It has driven me all my adult life. I guess, in light of that, I will die a failure.”

“I’ll shoot any man who says so. “

“I appreciate that, Vin. I really do.” His voice was so soft that Vin found himself straining to hear it.

Ezra Standish, who had spent his entire life protecting who he really was and hiding his true self from everyone, suddenly found himself revealing his innermost secrets. “I have never shared my other fear with anyone.”

“You don’t need to, Ezra.”

Standish didn‘t appear to hear. He was talking to himself more than to his fellow regulator. His slurred speech had taken on a mumbled tone. “Dying alone. I... I have always known that I would die alone. My passing will not be mourned, for there will no one who cares to mourn me. ”

“That’s bullshit,” Vin cried in a strangled and horribly distorted whisper. “You got friends, Ezra. Friends who care a lot about ya.”

Ezra glanced across at Vin and waited until Tanner met his gaze. “I know you are speaking of our fellow regulators, but do you honestly believe they will give me more than a second thought? Life will go on and it will be as if I never existed.”

“Ezra...”

“You are a good man, and that is what people see. When our partners look at you, Vin, their eyes reflect only friendship, loyalty and trust. Am I not correct?”

“That’s there for you, too.”

“True, but there is a fourth entity hiding there as well,” Ezra stated, tragically.

“What‘s that?”

“Suspicion. Their trust, and I fear yours as well, only goes so far. I am not the sort of man who instills trust. Others aren’t prepared to truly invest their emotions in me for they perceive I am unworthy of keeping them.”

Vin Tanner’s face hardened with determination. “Look into my face, Standish. Look real hard. You tell me what you see.”

Ezra gazed at his friend with his badly dilated pupils and heavy lidded eyes. “I see a man I am proud to call my friend,” he whispered.

“Tell me what you see,” Vin growled.

Ezra lowered his eyes.

“Tell me!” Vin cried.

“I... I see loyalty I don’t deserve, friendship I’ve taken for granted and the sort of trust I’ve never known... I... I don‘t know how to express my gratitude to you for...”

“Ezra, I don’t know what sort of person you were before you came to Four Corners, but the man I know deserves my loyalty, is entitled to take my friendship for granted and should know he has my trust. You don’t see those things when you look at others because you don’t want to. If you did, I reckon it would scare the shit out of you, because you‘re scared of not being the person your friends know you are.”

Ezra studied Vin‘s face for some time. “There may be more truth in that than you realize,” he alleged. Ezra blinked several times. Suddenly, he found himself feeling very, very weary. “I have a few tasks I need carried out and as you are the only emissary I can ask, I’m afraid I have no choice but to burden you with them.”

Vin’s head bobbed once, accepting the responsibility with a heavy heart.

“I would like you to take these pearl cufflinks and give them to J.D. He once commented on them and I would like you to see that he gets them.”

Vin looked horrified. “Ezra, we don’t want your stuff.”

“Go to hell, Ezra.”

Vin moved closer to his friend. He could hear the strained intake of Ezra’s breath as he struggled to hold on to consciousness. Tanner laid his hand over Standish’s, curled his fingers around the manicured fist and then leaned down close to his friend’s ear. “Ezra, you aren’t alone.”