“Buck! Buck!” J.D. yelled, racing into the saloon where his friend was seated at a table alone. “Chris has just headed across to the bathhouse. Come on.” There was no excitement, only a steely determination from the young man who had arrived in the west a boy and who had become a man in the past twelve weeks.

Wilmington tipped his glass to his lips but made no other movement.

“Buck?” J.D. asked impatiently, striding across the room. “Chris is up. Come on. You have to ask him if he knows where Vin may have headed.” It had been almost thirty hours since the group had returned and discovered that two of their companions had come to blows causing one to leave. J.D. knew exactly how capable Vin was and so his motivation to find Tanner as quickly as possible stemmed more from his need to bring his friends back together, than a deep seated fear for Vin’s safety. Dunne had seen Tanner make shots that were damn near impossible and Vin’s prowess as a tracker were unequalled... in J.D.'s eyes.

Vin Tanner could look after himself - J.D. didn't question that. However, the point was, Vin didn’t and shouldn’t have to. He had friends prepared to stand next to him... in front of him, if need be. This silly fight between Vin and Chris should never have happened and Dunne was certain the anger between his two friends would have faded by now. Once the pair got passed any pride that remained, all would be just fine and everything would return to normal… and that was all J.D. wanted.

“Let him alone for a bit, kid.”

“What? Buck, we’ve already waited long enough. Vin could be half way to China by now.”

“Another half an hour isn’t going to make that much difference, kid. Sit down and have a drink.”

J.D. pulled out a chair and eyed his friend carefully. Buck had been in a strange mood since they had returned. Part of it he understood, for Buck and Chris were close and thus Buck shared some of Larabee's pain, but there was something else there. “Is everything okay, Buck?” the youth asked, noting his friend glace at the clock on the wall for the third time in the last thirty seconds.

“What makes you ask?”

J.D. shrugged his young shoulders. “I don’t know. You seem…”

“Just a bit concerned is all, J.D.”

Dunne nodded. “Don’t worry. We’ll find Vin and bring him home.”

Home. Buck snorted ironically and longed to have J.D.’s innocence. “Don’t count on it, son. Vin may not want to come back.”

“He’s just upset, Buck. Once we talk to him, he’ll come home.”

There was that word again - home. J.D. saw Four Corners as home. In a way, Buck had started to view the town that way himself. It had been a long time since he had remained in one spot for an extended period of time.

“Just don’t get your hopes up, kid. This ain’t one of them dime store novels you read where the good guys win in the end,” Buck murmured, pouring himself another drink.

J.D. frowned. He’d never known Buck to drink heavily during the day, nor to be so negative. Buck was always so upbeat about everything. “Are you worried Chris won’t tell us where Vin went?”

“Nope. I’m worried he won’t know and that even if he does, Vin may not want to be found.”

“Yeah but… Buck, you do think we’ll find him, don‘t you?” For the first time, doubt crept into J.D.’s optimistic mind. He believed that they would find Vin quickly and that Vin would ride back with them. Then Vin and Chris would do some glaring and stalking and then everything would be back to the way it was meant to be. He honestly hadn't considered any other possibility.

Wilmington avoided answering the question and rose to his feet. “I suppose I should get it over with.” J.D. leapt up too, cramming his bowler on. Buck shook his head. “I need to do this on my own.”

Dunne searched his friend’s face. He was starting to realize how difficult this was for Buck and he wanted to be there for him. “I don’t mind standing with you, Buck. I won’t say anything, but if you need me to…”

Buck patted the younger man’s shoulder, forced an appreciative smile and then headed for the bathhouse. For several moments he stood outside on the dry, dusty street, trying to collect his thoughts. There was one question he needed the answer to and it had nothing to do with where Vin had headed. Chris had said that Vin wouldn’t be coming back. Did he say that because he was aware that Vin had ridden off to Tascosa to his death? Buck refused to believe that was so, but he had to know one way or the other.

The bathhouse was little more than a tin shed across from the livery. Ezra had often commented that the proximity made relaxing difficult due to the ‘unwelcome aroma' wafting from the stable.

Buck gathered some Dutch courage and entered the steamy room. He wasn’t worried about facing Chris. He was worried about what he might find out. This was going to be a fiery confrontation he guessed and he really wasn’t looking forward to it.

Wilmington nodded to Bob who was standing in the corner keeping some water boiling in a large cauldron. Instantly, the portly and relieved man made himself scarce. He had been nervous when Chris had arrived, for Bob had been in the saloon the night Larabee and Tanner had attacked one another. Fists had flown with great speed and nothing at all had been held back.

Buck wandered across to where Chris was soaking. “Hey,” he greeted, uneasily. “How’s the head?”

Larabee lifted his eyes and rather than seeing anger, Buck saw hurt and a lot of confusion.

“He hasn’t come back?” Larabee asked. His voice was soft and calm. It wasn’t quite what Buck had been expecting. He had prepared himself for a battle, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen.

Wilmington felt his chest constrict and his breathing increased under the scrutiny of Larabee’s gaze and the weight of the question. There was a good chance that Vin may have arrived in Tascosa by now. “No, he hasn‘t come back.”

Chris picked up a sponge and squeezed it over his head.

“Chris, did Vin tell you where he was headed?”

Larabee shook his head.

So, Chris didn’t know. There was a certain amount of relief for Buck, but it didn’t make any of this easier.

“You and he ever discuss what you were going to do after things finished here?”

Larabee froze, lifted his eyes and Buck watched the mask fall down into place. Buck had observed Vin shut his emotions down like this when things were uncomfortable, or when others pried into his business. Larabee and Tanner were so much alike and yet completely different in so many other ways. When it came to this, they did the same thing for the same reason - to protect that part of themselves they shared with few.

“Chris, I don’t mean to pry but…”

Larabee grabbed his towel and stood up. “Leave it, Buck. Just leave it.”

Wilmington drew in a deep breath. “You don’t expect him to come back, do you?”

Larabee went behind a screen and dressed. Wilmington waited for an answer for a few seconds and then exited the steamy shed. He’d found out what he needed to. Chris didn’t know Vin had headed for Tascosa and Buck was determined that it would stay that way.

J.D. was waiting outside pacing when Wilmington emerged. “Well?”

Buck thought quickly. “Probably went north,” he lied, his moustache twitching with guilt. He couldn’t make eye contact with his young friend. His gut twisted, but Ezra was right. It would be easier if J.D. was out of town if news came.

“Great. I’ll go and get the others ready. When do you want to leave?”

“I won’t be going.” Dunne’s face clouded. “Someone needs to stay and keep an eye on Chris. May take two of us, so I’ll get Ezra to stay with me.”

“Oh?” Dunne’s eyebrows rose curiously. He wouldn’t have thought that Ezra would have been Buck’s first choice.

“Yeah,” Buck whispered, glancing up at the position of the sun. It was late afternoon. With each passing second, Vin would be drawing closer to the destiny he had chosen for himself.

“Buck, you waiting for something?” J.D. asked.

“What makes you say that?” Wilmington snapped defensively as he strode off.

“I don’t know. You seem to be watching the time a lot today, is all. Where are you going?” J.D. called after his friend.

“I just need to check on something.” J.D. watched Buck march across to the telegraph office. Just as he was about to enter, Ezra stepped out. The pair stopped and had a short discussion before Ezra headed across to the tavern and Buck disappeared into the boarding house.

J.D. frowned. Why did he have the feeling there was more going on than he was being told?

**********

Half and hour later, Ezra had retired to his room, Nathan and J.D. were preparing their horses for the long ride, Buck was back in the saloon and Josiah was in the church gathering a few personal items. No one was sure where Chris had gone.

As Sanchez moved from the pulpit, a shadow filled the doorway. Josiah squinted toward the figure entering. “Chris,” he welcomed.

“What’s going on?” Larabee asked, inclining his head outdoors.

“Nathan, J.D. and I thought we’d sweep the towns close by to find out which direction Vin may have headed. Do you know, brother?”

Chris glared at Josiah.

“That’s a powerful anger you’ve got in the pit of your belly, Chris.”

“Yeah,” Larabee acknowledged with a snarl.

“Let me share your load.”

Chris stared at the preacher. Josiah always looked different in the church. There was something serene about him; like he had found the peace he always seemed to be searching for.

Larabee had a choice. He could either release his pain by sharing it with someone or he could bury it where it couldn’t effect him. The later strategy had worked well enough in the past and so he rejected Josiah’s offer. “You’re all wasting your time. Vin doesn’t want to be found.”

Josiah’s eyes narrowed and he realized something none of the boys had considered. “You went after him?” he asked, striding up the aisle to Chris.

“Of course I went after him,” Chris exploded. Surprised by the admission he had never meant to share, the gunfighter spun around and strode out of the church, his boots pounding out the agony in his soul.

“Chris, we need some help to find him. Do you know where he may have gone?”

Larabee paused at the top of the stairs and glanced back, shaking his head. “The only place we ever discussed was Tascosa but that was before I destroyed his chance of ever being free again.”

“Chris…” Josiah started, but Larabee turned and left.

Josiah watched him with great sympathy and lowered his head. “Father, don’t punish him further. He’s a good man. Please help us to bring our lost sheep home so both he and Chris may be whole again.”

**********

**********

Chris marched out to the livery and without giving Nathan and J.D. a sideway’s glance, he mounted his horse and spurred it out of the stable. The animal seemed to understand Larabee’s mood and so stretched out, putting as much distance as possible between them and the town.

Larabee desperately needed to forget, but his mind was whirling back over what had happened the day after the ‘fight’. He had awoken just before lunch, feeling the sour taste of whiskey still on his parched tongue. His body was stiff and his top lip split from one of the many punches Vin had landed with surprising accuracy.

Realizing that he and his best friend needed to talk, he had immediately gone to the livery and as he had expected, Vin’s horse was gone. Unperturbed, he had ridden out to the two places his friend often went to think. Not finding Vin at either, Chris had returned to town, deciding his best friend just needed some time to himself.

As the hours had passed and night had fallen, Chris had started to become concerned. Thoughts of bounty hunters ambushing his companion, Vin falling or having hurt himself dominated his restless dreams. The next morning, when there was still no sign of the tracker, Chris had decided to search Vin’s wagon. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t as if Vin would have left a note.

As he had pulled back the flap, his heart had missed a beat. The wagon, normally cluttered with bits and pieces Vin had collected and saved for ’some day when I might need’ em‘, was almost completely empty. It was only then that Larabee had started to panic. He had raced for his horse and had blindly started searching for his friend in the area around Four Corners.

After two days on the trail, going from one town to the next, he realized that Vin didn’t want to be found. Hoping his friend had gone back to Four Corners, he had returned, but to no avail.

The truth had hit him hard. Vin had cleaned out his wagon which meant he had no intention of ever returning. He had put a period and was moving on. This chapter of Tanner’s life was finished. Vin was a stubborn man. Nothing would change his mind now.

Stunned and overwhelmed with grief, Chris found himself drowning in resurfacing memories. Why he was thinking of his wife and child at that point, he had no idea. Feeling more alone than he could ever remember, he had retreated to the saloon and there had tried to drown the memories before they consumed him. However, the more he had drunk, the more vivid his recollections had become. Before he knew it, he had been spiralling down into the pits of hell without any way for stopping the freefall. The pain he had experienced when losing Sarah and Adam was amplified by the loss he felt over Vin’s leaving. The fact that he was somehow responsible for both left Chris reeling and feeling hopelessly lost.

Dragging his mind free of those recollections, Chris once again tried to answer the same question he had been asking himself since he had realized that his best friend had left. “Where the hell are you, Vin?”

**********

“So, we’re heading north?” J.D. inquired as he, Nathan and Josiah led their horse out of the livery.

“I suppose so. Chris doesn’t believe we’ll find Vin if he doesn’t want to be found,” Josiah murmured.

“You spoke to him?” Dunne asked, pulling himself up into the saddle.

“Briefly,” Josiah answered as he mounted. “He is a man languishing in hell.”

“I wonder what on earth they argued about,” J.D. repeated.

“I’m not sure we’ll ever know,” Josiah murmured.

“What do you mean? When we find Vin, he‘s sure to tell us.”

“If we find Vin I don’t believe he or Chris will share what happened that night. It is theirs.”

“I guess.”

The three men spurred their horses on toward Alexander’s Pass which was the closest town north of Four Corners.

“You’re very quiet, brother,” Josiah commented to Nathan after about five minutes. J.D. had continued to chat, question and theorize, but Nathan had been largely silent.

“Just thinking about the future.”

“Oh?”

“Things are going to change.” He turned to J.D. and added, “Whether we find Vin or not, things will change.”

“But once Vin and Chris talk about it, it’ll get better,” J.D. assured.

Josiah and Nathan exchanged a glance. Dunne still looked at life with an optimism both of the older men had had driven out of them over the years.

“The future?” Josiah prompted the healer. “I suppose that little gal of yours isn’t going to wait forever.”

Nathan smiled. “Nope. Maybe the time is right for me to be makin’ some changes. You know?”

“Yep. I know,” Josiah replied with great understanding for he, too, had been considering his future.

J.D. stared at the two men horrified. He couldn’t understand why they were talking like this.

“Guys, I’m tellin’ you. When we find Vin and take him home, everything will be okay.”

**********

Chris sat on the edge of the Bison Cliff, looking out over the land below. Vin had always come here to think. Today, Larabee came here to forget and to make some life-changing decisions.

Vin was gone. Larabee had spent the passed few days rejecting that fact, but it was a truth he couldn‘t deny. He still didn’t want to accept it, but he needed to if he was to move on. The problem was, he wasn’t sure he wanted or could go on? How had he gone on last time when he had lost those he cared about?

Chris raised his eyes to an eagle soaring free above him. That was all Vin had wanted - to be free. Of all of the men Chris had ever met, Vin was the one who truly deserved to be free… and Chris himself had stolen that from his best friend when he had shot and killed Eli-Joe. He hadn’t thought as he’d pulled the trigger, he’d simply reacted. That had cost Vin the one thing he valued most.

Tanner hadn’t held any malice toward him for it, though. “Can’t clear my name if I’m dead.“ That was all he had ever said, but Chris had seen the pain in his friend’s deep blue eyes.

Chris swallowed. He had to shoulder the responsibility for that and he had promised himself that he would make things right by watching his companion’s back for the rest of his life. Now, he couldn’t do that and that betrayal on his part was beginning to fester in his soul.

So what did he do now? Go back to drifting and living by his gun? Go back to choosing his fights recklessly in the hope that just perhaps he may come across someone who was faster than he was? Go back to searching for who had hired Cletus Fowler?

There was a time when this was all he needed to survive. His drive for revenge had been so strong that nothing else mattered. Revenge was no longer what he craved. Now, he just wanted justice for his family. It was a subtle, but important difference. He and Vin had intended searching together for the person who had hired Fowler. First, they had been going to track down Eli-Joe and then after clearing Vin’s name, they had planned to track down Fowler’s employer. After that… they had never really discussed anything further, though Larabee had simply assumed that they would find some land so he could return to ranching. He had also assumed that Vin would join him. He could have taught his friend how to break horses; how to select a good from a poor animal; how to foal horses when the birth was difficult. These were things Vin probably didn’t have any experience with, but somewhere in a hidden part of Chris' mind where conscious thought never resided, Larabee had made all of these plans for the future. What the hell did his future hold now?

Without warning, he was overcome by a dreadful sense of dread. Vin’s face flashed in front of his eyes. Larabee knew something was wrong… felt it to his core. The feeling was a strange sense of ‘knowing‘. He had experienced this 'knowing' on two other occasions in the last few weeks. One when Vin had been attacked outside his wagon when Eli-Joe's men had jumped him and once when Vin had been ambushed between Four Corners and Eagle Bend. Both times, Larabee’s chest had tightened and a clear image of Vin had presented in his mind. The sense of urgency had been overwhelming.

Vin had also experienced this sense of ‘knowing’ on two occasions. The first was when Don Pablo and his men had tried to steal Chris' horse out at his shack. Tanner had turned and ridden back because... "I kinda had a sense of ya... that ya was in trouble." The second was when Chris had been protecting the Travis child.

The pair had discussed the strange occurrences only the once. Chris had mentioned it and Vin and stated simply, "some things are meant to be."

The ‘knowing’ Chris felt was intensifying. Rising to his feet, Larabee turned and jogged back to his horse. He needed to find Vin.

He needed to find him quickly.

This page is for fan enjoyment and review. I do not own any of the pictures. They remain the property of their original owners. No infringement of copyright is intended. I am making no money from this site... I wish! If you see anything on this page (or any other page on my site) that you believe belongs to you and you would like me to remove it, please just let me know and I will take it down immediately or, if you prefer, acknowledge you in full. (g)